Episode 305
The Trap of Plan B: How It’s Holding You Back [Ep 305]
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Ever had that moment where you're like, 'What if I just gave up and went back to my day job?' Yeah, me too!
In this episode, we explore the idea that having a Plan B can actually keep us from fully investing in Plan A. Plan B often leads to self-sabotage, as it's easy to dip back into old safety nets instead of pushing forward.
We reflect on how fear of failure and success can creep in, causing us to hesitate and hold back.
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Transcript
How many times have you created like a plan B or have said to yourself, like, well, if this doesn't work out, I'll do it this way, or when this doesn't work out, or if this doesn't happen, I can always go do this, this, and this, or if this doesn't make sense, I will go and do this.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:We're talking about having a plan B, right?
Speaker A:And this has been ingrained in us, right?
Speaker A:Like, you should always have a plan B.
Speaker A:You should always have a plan B.
Speaker A:But I want to talk today about how having a plan B can actually really, really limit your growth and really become a trust issue and why plan B is often just a permission slip to play small.
Speaker A:All right, you ready for this one?
Speaker A:This one's a little personal.
Speaker A:Okay, ready?
Speaker A:Let's dive in.
Speaker A:So I want to talk about having a plan B.
Speaker A:And I think I've talked a lot lately about, you know, just this deep journey I have been on to learn a little bit about myself, learn more about who I am through human design and working genius and doing some energy healing and just all the ways, right.
Speaker A:Like, I think it is really important as we are continuing to grow and as leaders, especially as I step into more of a leadership role through the Focus Visionary and as I grow my business, like, I really feel strongly that it's important for me to kind of understand why there are certain things that I do the way they do, I do them, why some of these limiting beliefs keep coming up.
Speaker A:And I'm just really been on this like, deep journey of like, self discovery.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so one of the things that I have discovered about myself, which actually came up through one of the conferences I've been at, which is another reason why I love going to in person things, because it's not always about the strategy, right?
Speaker A:Like, you don't go to these in person events and think, like, I'm going to learn something that's going to absolutely blow my mind, right?
Speaker A:It's usually the speakers that you've never heard of.
Speaker A:You don't even know them, you're not there to see them, right?
Speaker A:And they come up with something that just hits you between the eyes that you cannot.
Speaker A:It's like a gut punch.
Speaker A:It's like, like, oh my gosh, are you speaking directly to me?
Speaker A:And so at one of the conferences I was at back in February, there was a speaker.
Speaker A:I may have mentioned this story a little bit.
Speaker A:I can't remember if I mentioned this story on the podcast before or not, but anyways, he was Telling this story about how he has been.
Speaker A:He was a.
Speaker A:I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible, but you got to stick with me because I promise you this is worth it, okay?
Speaker A:This is a really good one.
Speaker A:And I promise you it's worth it.
Speaker A:So stick with me.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:This guy was like.
Speaker A:He worked with rock stars.
Speaker A:He was like, in the band.
Speaker A:Like, he worked with, on the crew for all these bands, like, big names, Big, big names.
Speaker A:Like, but the most recent one that he was with was the Jonas Brothers.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:But he has been wanting to kind of get out of that, like, behind the scenes band rock, traveling all over.
Speaker A:He had kids, etc.
Speaker A:Etc.
Speaker A:And he was really trying to move into more coaching.
Speaker A:He wanted to, like, teach other people how to get into the industry.
Speaker A:He wanted to work with kids and children and just kind of be more of, like, motivational and inspirational.
Speaker A:Anyway, long story short, he talked about how he always had this, like, plan B.
Speaker A:And so he was telling us, even I can't remember the band, but his, like, one of the bands he worked with, like, the parents, it was a.
Speaker A:It was a family.
Speaker A:I can't remember the name of it now, but they, the parents said, like, you can do this.
Speaker A:You guys can go and create this, this band, but you cannot have a plan B, right?
Speaker A:Like, there is no plan B.
Speaker A:You are going to make this work, right?
Speaker A:And so he was telling us this story, and so he was talking about how he really.
Speaker A:He had decided that once the tour was done with the Jonas Brothers, he was touring in Mexico.
Speaker A:They had one more tour in Europe.
Speaker A:He wasn't going to go on the Europe tour.
Speaker A:He was just going to end it.
Speaker A:And he was going to step into and really own and move into this speaking career.
Speaker A:And he was like, there.
Speaker A:And then, you know, the Mexico tour, and they kept saying, like, yeah, right, you know, we'll see in Europe.
Speaker A:We'll see in Europe, whatever.
Speaker A:And so he decided to go on a run.
Speaker A:He had told us that, like, when he got back from the run, he was gonna call his wife and be like, hey, babe, I just want to let you know, like, I'm not gonna.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna be done after I go on.
Speaker A:I'm gonna go with them to Europe, right?
Speaker A:Because again, like, he was scared of, like, if I step into and really go into this coaching and I go into all of this, like, being a speaker and all of that, like, what happens?
Speaker A:Like, I know this is good money.
Speaker A:Like, here he is giving up a career where he makes Great money.
Speaker A:He tours the world.
Speaker A:Like, he's met amazing people and it was guaranteed, like, he could literally go and work for any.
Speaker A:Basically any band he wanted.
Speaker A:He was that highly sought after.
Speaker A:He was that good.
Speaker A:And so he had decided, like, nope, going back to plan.
Speaker A:You know, plan B is just stick with this.
Speaker A:What I know.
Speaker A:So anyway, long story short, I.
Speaker A:This man needs to sell his story to Netflix because it was insane.
Speaker A:And I'm not even going to be able to tell you the whole story, but essentially he was in Mexico, he went for a run, and he ended up in cartel land.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:He ends up in cartel land.
Speaker A:He ends up getting hunted by the cartel on this mountain.
Speaker A:They're shooting at him.
Speaker A:He ends up jumping off this mountain into.
Speaker A:I don't even know in Mexico.
Speaker A:But, like, if you've seen any shows in Mexico, like, it jumps off this mountain into, like all these cactuses and cacti.
Speaker A:Is that the right word?
Speaker A:Where prickers and all this stuff, right?
Speaker A:And he's trying to get off this mountain while these men are on motorcycles hunting him down.
Speaker A:Long story short, it took him like 17 hours to through dark, through cold broken bone.
Speaker A:His arm is broken, his leg is broken, he's scratched to shit.
Speaker A:I mean, because he's been hiding in cat like, pricker bushes.
Speaker A:And the.
Speaker A:The story was fascinating.
Speaker A:But here is his point in the whole story was that he had made the decision that there was no more plan B.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:But then he was getting ready to give in and he was like, nope, going back to plan B.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:I'm just going back to plan B.
Speaker A:Because his thing was like, if plan A fails, which is I'm gonna go be a speaker and a coach, if that fails, I can always fall back on this.
Speaker A:Well, he didn't even get to it, to plan A before he was falling back on plan B.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And so the whole point here is he was like the universe and God just basically said, like, you have got to bet on yourself.
Speaker A:Like, you were going to go do this.
Speaker A:Touring is not what you need to do.
Speaker A:I mean, that was a hard lesson to learn.
Speaker A:And he was joking.
Speaker A:Like, it was very raw when he was telling this.
Speaker A:This had only happened like six weeks.
Speaker A:When he was telling us this story, it only happened like six weeks prior.
Speaker A:And he was like, I'm not telling all of you to go get hunted by the cartel to stick with your plan A or whatever.
Speaker A:But what I'm telling you is like, I want you to realize that, like, you need to trust in yourself, right?
Speaker A:You need to Trust in yourself that you can do it because otherwise you'll continue to fall back on your plan B.
Speaker A:Okay, so let me set.
Speaker A:Now that I've set you up, that one hit me so hard because I have always had a plan B in my business.
Speaker A:Always.
Speaker A:I've talked about this all the time, right?
Speaker A:Like I've had jobs, I've delivered doordash, I've been a nanny, quit being a nanny and then she had another baby and I was like, let me be your nanny again right now.
Speaker A:There was pieces to that where I just wanted to build those relationships with those kids because I love them.
Speaker A:But the whole point about it is, is that really the plan B allowed me to stay safe and it allowed me from having to go in all in on plan A because I didn't need plan A to work out because I had plan B and I was always able to fall back on it, right?
Speaker A:And so we create these like little exit ramps without even realizing it.
Speaker A:When we have this like, well, when this doesn't work out or if this doesn't work out, I'll just do this, right?
Speaker A:And so it's these fears and this mistrust, like this inability to trust ourself to execute on plan A.
Speaker A:Execute well, hold ourselves accountable to it.
Speaker A:Not then you've got all the fear of failure.
Speaker A:You've got the fear of success, you've got the fear of commitment, you've got all of these fears that come up.
Speaker A:And so naturally it's like, well, there's always a plan B, like when it doesn't work out, I've got a plan B, right?
Speaker A:And some of this is like self is ingrained from generations, like generations to generations.
Speaker A:This has been passed down as like, you've always got to have a plan B.
Speaker A:But here's the thing.
Speaker A:As a business owner, it does not serve you to have a plan B.
Speaker A:Because when you have a plan B, your mind, your subconscious mind, all of those things.
Speaker A:Again, I've been on this deep journey of learning.
Speaker A:Like the subconscious mind is like, well, you don't need to execute on that because you'll just fall back on this.
Speaker A:And you've already got it in your head that that's going to fail.
Speaker A:That's why you've got this stop gap set up, right?
Speaker A:Like you've already decided in your mind it's not going to work out.
Speaker A:You don't trust yourself to fully execute on it.
Speaker A:You've got this fear of failure, a fear of success, a fear of commitment.
Speaker A:Why are we going to allow this to work out.
Speaker A:Why are we going to give you the results that you are desiring when we know you've got a plan B, right?
Speaker A:And so this has all been going on.
Speaker A:This is in February, this happens.
Speaker A:And I realized this is me.
Speaker A:This has been me.
Speaker A:And I knew that I needed to stop having a plan B, which is why in December I stopped nannying.
Speaker A:I got, I walked away from like a part time position I was holding inside of another person's company.
Speaker A:And I decided like, I'm going all in on my business.
Speaker A:But I gotta be honest, I'm telling you, like I didn't realize how freaking scared I was and like how much I relied on plan B.
Speaker A:And I still struggle with this is like, well, I could just go get a job doing this.
Speaker A:I could just go get a job part time here doing this.
Speaker A:I could just go do this.
Speaker A:You know, I've caught myself like looking on LinkedIn jobs looking on indeed.
Speaker A:And it's like just because something isn't working out right now because it's like, but it would be so much easier for me to just go get a job and at least know I got a paycheck coming in, right?
Speaker A:And like, oh, but, and I can tell myself all these stories around like, yes, but I'm just supplementing my income and I'm just doing this.
Speaker A:But the, the thing about it is, is it's all just a distraction.
Speaker A:It's a distraction that keeps me from doing the hard work that I know is required to do the things that I want to do to make plan A work, which is this business, right?
Speaker A:And so you can sit here and say like, oh, I'm just being realistic.
Speaker A:That's just a dressed up excuse for I don't trust myself or I'm scared or I just already have decided this is not going to work out.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like that's what's really happening is that we've already decided something's not going to work out.
Speaker A:We've already decided that we failed.
Speaker A:We've already decided that we are not able to complete whatever we're trying to do.
Speaker A:And so we create these plan B's.
Speaker A:Is this like a safety net in this?
Speaker A:And then we can disguise it as like, yes, but I'm just being responsible and I'm just doing the right thing and I'm just making sure everything's taken care of, right?
Speaker A:When in reality it's just a self preservation, but it's not really, it's a mistrust, it's a fear.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:And so this is where I want to encourage all of you.
Speaker A:Like, I, I don't.
Speaker A:I hope that I'm not alone in these feelings.
Speaker A:I know I'm not alone in these feelings because I've had other conversations with people.
Speaker A:I've seen it in the co.
Speaker A:In the clients that I coach.
Speaker A:And I also think, like, I am super vulnerable and I am not going to not share the, the realistic things that go on behind the scenes in business because I'm a coach and I shouldn't.
Speaker A:Or I'm, I'm, I'm a leader and I shouldn't tell everybody what I'm struggling with.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:As a leader, this is what's important to me, is that I want you guys to understand that I am not immune to any of these things.
Speaker A:And there are times that I have self sabotaged.
Speaker A:I have been self sabotaging my way a good majority of 20, 25, because I have been scared that I didn't have a plan B to fall back on.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so.
Speaker A:But once I realize that, and I think all of what I want you to understand is that it's this self realization, it's this acceptance, it's this honesty with yourself.
Speaker A:To say, I see you, I hear you, but we are no longer going to make that mean anything about me.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, this is all the deep work that I've done is like, yes, I see you, I hear you.
Speaker A:Thank you, fear for showing up.
Speaker A:Thank you for trying to protect me.
Speaker A:But I no longer am subscribed to that, you know, that fear or that mindset or any of those things.
Speaker A:And I work through it.
Speaker A:And there's just multiple different ways that I do that.
Speaker A:But I think what you have to understand is like, at some point you're going to get stuck in this fork in the road where you have to make a choice.
Speaker A:You cannot continue to operate on both.
Speaker A:You cannot continue to operate and have like plan A and plan B running kind of simultaneously.
Speaker A:You're going to come up against a fork in the road where you have to choose, right?
Speaker A:And if you choose plan B because you enjoy the safety of it, then that's okay.
Speaker A:But if plan A, which is your business, entrepreneurship, building a business, going all in is your choice, then you also have to be willing to address the fears, to address the trust issues within yourself.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, this was an honest conversation that I had to admit to my husband.
Speaker A:You can tell, like in multiple of these episodes, I've really leaned on my husband a lot lately.
Speaker A:And I had to say to him, like, I realize now that Like, I've always had a plan B and for a lot of times it made it look like I was being super responsible.
Speaker A:But in reality it actually cost me a lot of growth.
Speaker A:Like I could have been further along in my business.
Speaker A:I could have had more success if I would have just trusted myself instead of putting all of my eggs in all these other baskets and like making a little bit of money here.
Speaker A:Like even to this day, like I've learned how to make sourdough, right?
Speaker A:Like you see all the trends.
Speaker A:It's a big, you know, trend.
Speaker A:And I was like, I could sell sourdough to I.
Speaker A:We live in like this really small community.
Speaker A:I was like, man, how many loaves of sourdough would I have to make?
Speaker A:Like, what if I did this?
Speaker A:And like, could I make how many loaves of sourdough?
Speaker A:And like, could I make this amount of money?
Speaker A:Like, maybe I should do this as like a side hustle and I could probably make an extra thousand dollars a month if I sold.
Speaker A:But like that's what I'm saying.
Speaker A:Like this, these are the thoughts that go on in my head.
Speaker A:I'm like, what if I did this?
Speaker A:Or wow, you see all these little tiktoks?
Speaker A:Here's how you can use chat, GPT and canva to create a digital product.
Speaker A:It's like, oh great, there's a plan B.
Speaker A:Let me try this one.
Speaker A:Oh, what if I did this?
Speaker A:Like if I created this journal, how many could I sell and could I make an extra thousand dollars?
Speaker A:But how many hours are you spending to have that plan B?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like how many hours is it going to take me?
Speaker A:They act like it's so easy.
Speaker A:But like, let's be honest, making sourdough is a freaking time consuming process.
Speaker A:If you haven't tried it, it takes freaking forever.
Speaker A:Okay, so like the amount of time that goes into it, am I going to do it?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:And then same with the journals or anything of that, like digital product.
Speaker A:You still have to sell the damn thing.
Speaker A:It's not like you create it and it just sells itself, right?
Speaker A:So yeah, maybe you could put some Facebook ads.
Speaker A:But again like all of that is just taking away from what you want to be doing, which is growing and selling the services that you are an expert at, right?
Speaker A:So like why do we do this?
Speaker A:Why do we put ourselves in this like thought process of.
Speaker A:Because one, there's a lot of noise.
Speaker A:There's a lot of noise telling you all these quick ways to make money and it's hard not to fall into it.
Speaker A:Number Two, it's just that we naturally have a fear of failure or a fear of success.
Speaker A:Almost everybody struggles with that at some point, right?
Speaker A:And so it's easier to be like, if this doesn't work out, I'll just do this.
Speaker A:Or what if it does work out?
Speaker A:Do I really want that?
Speaker A:Like, can I hold up to my commitment?
Speaker A:I'll be honest with you.
Speaker A:That's probably my bigger concern.
Speaker A:My.
Speaker A:That is probably my bigger fear around that is, like, can I keep up?
Speaker A:Am I going to be able to live up to what I say I'm going to do?
Speaker A:And, you know, that's really my biggest fear around success.
Speaker A:Like, if I go all in and I get really, really busy, like, what happens then?
Speaker A:Like, what if I don't want to be that busy?
Speaker A:What if I don't want to work 50 hours a week, which I would never do, but, like, am I going to drop the ball?
Speaker A:Am I going to be able to make everybody happy?
Speaker A:Am I going to be able to make sure that everybody's getting what they said, you know, that I promised them, right?
Speaker A:Like, there is a.
Speaker A:A big fear of success of like, can I keep up?
Speaker A:And a lot of times that's why I play small, right?
Speaker A:And we've talked a lot about that, and you're going to hear me keep talking about it because it is time to play bigger.
Speaker A:But also, there are so many things that go into playing bigger, right?
Speaker A:And so some of that is getting rid of your plan B, right?
Speaker A:Because here's the thing.
Speaker A:If for some reason something crazy happens, there's always going to be a plan B, right?
Speaker A:Like, there's never not been a plan B.
Speaker A:Like, even if you have a job, if you worked a job and you loved your job and you loved your career, you don't walk around going, well, if I let me make sure I have a plan B in case I lose.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:Like, most of the time in a job, we don't walk around making sure we have a plan B lined up, right?
Speaker A:Like, you're not interviewing on a regular basis just in case you might lose your job, right?
Speaker A:Like, that's just not natural.
Speaker A:We just don't do that.
Speaker A:So why do we do it in our business?
Speaker A:Like, why do we set these things up to make sure that we have this plan B when it's like, do we really need that?
Speaker A:Is that really what we need?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And so really understanding what it is.
Speaker A:Okay, so here's your action steps.
Speaker A:If you have been feeling this way, right, I want you to ask yourself, where are you holding on to a safety net that's really no longer serving you?
Speaker A:Where is that safety net actually costing you instead of saving you?
Speaker A:Because I guarantee it will get to that point, right?
Speaker A:Like me doing all of these other things and having all of these little plan Bs, they were actually costing me because I was spending more time on them than actually doing the things I needed to do to grow my business, to get the results that I wanted to get.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So it was actually costing me more money than I was actually making, for sure.
Speaker A:So what are you holding on to as a safety net that is no longer serving you and.
Speaker A:Or costing you?
Speaker A:Okay, that's number one.
Speaker A:Number two, I want you to identify and really clearly lay out.
Speaker A:What does Plan A look like?
Speaker A:What does it look like?
Speaker A:And how can you break it down into smaller steps?
Speaker A:Again, we come back to the 60 days.
Speaker A:I don't expect anybody to go 90 days, 6 months, 12 months.
Speaker A:You don't know, Right.
Speaker A:Like, there's so many variables here.
Speaker A:But what would it do?
Speaker A:What would it look like for.
Speaker A:For you to say, I'm going to go all in on plan A for the next 60 days.
Speaker A:What does that look like?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And then how are you going to remove any.
Speaker A:Just in case offer task backup strategy.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:How are you going to remove that?
Speaker A:You know, that's what you've got to be really thinking about.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And so of course I'm going to mention that if you're ready to truly bet on Plan A, that's what the Focus Visionary accelerator is for.
Speaker A:And I put my, you know, I am a student of my own program and I will forever be like, I blocked off an entire week of CEO week to go back through my program, to go back through all the worksheets, to re evaluate to make sure I'm on track.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:To make sure that I am sticking with Plan A.
Speaker A:That's what that framework was designed to do, is make sure you have a structure and a foundation to make you accountable, to keep you accountable.
Speaker A:Not make.
Speaker A:I can't make you do anything but to keep you accountable to Plan A, to keep you accountable to that vision.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And that's what we're working on and focusing on inside of that accelerator.
Speaker A:And I would love to have you there.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I would truly, truly love to have you there.
Speaker A:So again, that wasn't that crazy, that story.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:Oh my gosh, I'm gonna tell that guy he needs to contact Netflix and sell that.
Speaker A:I mean, cause it was such a Powerful story.
Speaker A:Although he's probably scared the cartel would come after him again.
Speaker A:But most of us are not gonna end up in that extreme of a situation where we're gonna have to choose.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:But we also don't wanna put ourselves in that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, there's so many ways that, like, those situations actually do present themselves.
Speaker A:And we might not just see it because they're a little bit more.
Speaker A:But where are those.
Speaker A:Where are those little, like, things that are happening that are giving you that sign of, like, you need to start betting on yourself.
Speaker A:You need to start trusting yourself a little bit more.
Speaker A:Where are those things?
Speaker A:Where are those pieces?
Speaker A:And I really want you to think about that.
Speaker A:Okay, so plan A it is.
Speaker A:I'm holding myself accountable to it.
Speaker A:I'm holding you accountable to it.
Speaker A:And I'm gonna keep sharing these little vulnerable pieces of what's happening, because growth is not linear.
Speaker A:Growth is not all perfect and sexy.
Speaker A:Like, this is the true definition of growth is coming up against these fears, coming up against these limiting beliefs, coming up against these things that you know are holding you back, that you've allowed to hold you back for all of this time.
Speaker A:But then we need to, like, move beyond them.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, that's the true growth that happens here.
Speaker A:You can have all the strategy in the world, but if you're not willing to actually look at the things that are going on behind the scenes, inside and internally, then there's only so much growth you're going to experience.
Speaker A:Okay, I love you.
Speaker A:I believe in you, and I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker A:Thanks so much for listening today, but remember, now it's time to take action.
Speaker A:My goal is to get you results.
Speaker A:So what is one action you can commit to taking this week?
Speaker A:Feel free to share it with me in my DMs or tag me on your socials.
Speaker A:Not sure what action to take?
Speaker A:Grab the link in the show notes and schedule a strategic power hour.
Speaker A:We can talk through it together and get you a strategic plan of action in just 60 short minutes.
Speaker A:Oh, and one last favor.
Speaker A:As with every podcast, reviews and ratings are what help us continue to show up and grow.
Speaker A:So if you wouldn't mind, please take a quick minute to leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify and share this episode with a friend.
Speaker A:Thanks.
Speaker A:Talk soon.
