Episode 304
Why We Crave Structure but Resist It [Ep 304]
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Structure is a funny thing, right? We all say we want it, but the second we start to implement it, it feels like a straightjacket.
In this episode, I get real about my own struggles with structure and how it can feel like a battle between our desire for freedom and the accountability that comes with having a plan. We reflect on the energy drain that comes from an unstructured business, where everything feels urgent and nothing gets done efficiently.
The key takeaway? Structure doesn’t have to mean rigidity.
Let’s find out how we can create a loose framework that allows for both accountability and creativity, helping our businesses thrive without feeling like we’re trapped.
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Transcript
How many times have you said to yourself, I just need a little bit more structure.
Speaker A:I just need to get a little bit more focus and then I'll feel in control of my business.
Speaker A:But then the minute we put the structure in place, the plan feels too rigid.
Speaker A:It requires a little bit more execution.
Speaker A:And we think, nah, this isn't for me.
Speaker A:I don't like it.
Speaker A:It's stifling.
Speaker A:I feel like I'm stuck in a box, right?
Speaker A:And I get it because I'm that person that used to say all of those things.
Speaker A:Like, I don't thrive in structure or routine, but I want to dive a little bit deeper into that of like, why do we crave structure as solopreneurs and small business owners, but then resist it?
Speaker A:Okay, so we're going to talk about that today.
Speaker A:If you are ready, let's dive in.
Speaker A:My favorite people.
Speaker A:Okay, so let's talk about this whole structure thing, right?
Speaker A:That we say that we want structure, we crave structure.
Speaker A:You've heard it all the time.
Speaker A:You know, you've seen it about having all of these morning routines and these really structured plans, and every day you know what you're working on and every day you're getting up.
Speaker A:And on Mondays I do this, and on Tuesdays I do this, and I follow these rules, right?
Speaker A:Like, it sounds really good, but then the second we try to do it, we feel like, ah, I just cannot stand being stuck in this box.
Speaker A:And like our internal, like everything in us just wants, like it's that, that internal, inner child rebel, like, don't tell me what to do, right?
Speaker A:And so we create this structure and then we resist it, right?
Speaker A:There's so much resistance around it.
Speaker A:Because structure, even the word structure, I actually had somebody.
Speaker A:Well, hold on, I'll tell you that story in a minute.
Speaker A:That structure feels like restriction, right?
Speaker A:Especially to those of us that are big picture thinkers, that are visionaries, which is all of you.
Speaker A:That's why you're here, that's why you listen.
Speaker A:And we value our freedom, right?
Speaker A:That's what we wanted when we became entrepreneurs, right?
Speaker A:That freedom, that spontaneity, that creativity, right?
Speaker A:But here's the truth.
Speaker A:So many of us, growth stage entrepreneurs are really just addicted to the possibility of all that could be in all that could be created, right?
Speaker A:All the potential.
Speaker A:And so this commitment in this structure means, like, I've got to get laser focused.
Speaker A:I've got to give up on this certain thing.
Speaker A:It's going to box me in.
Speaker A:I might miss out on opportunities.
Speaker A:But what if this but what if that.
Speaker A:But what if this, right?
Speaker A:And so you end up in this constant state of like decision fatigue and what ifs and half finished projects and all of this inconsistent revenue.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And I actually, I just launched my new quiz of like, where's the gap in your business strategy?
Speaker A:And I had somebody, if you haven't taken the quiz, definitely go click the link in the show notes.
Speaker A:It's super fun, super.
Speaker A:It's fast.
Speaker A:It'll take you like two minutes.
Speaker A:And then there's also all kinds of things, like helpful tips that come after it.
Speaker A:So it's really fun.
Speaker A:But one of the beta testers, when I was testing out the automations and all of that and like testing to make sure that the questions made sense or whatever, she emailed me back and she said very nicely, she was like, I gotta be honest with you, on a lot of the questions I just wanted to answer like, that's not how I do things because I cannot stand structure.
Speaker A:I cannot stand structure.
Speaker A:I resist it.
Speaker A:I don't like it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Which is exactly was so funny that she literally sent me that email and I had this episode queued up to record.
Speaker A:Because the thing about it is, is that the resistance to structure is often actually a resistance to accountability.
Speaker A:Because when there is a plan and when there is a focus and when there is a direction, we have to actually follow it.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And that's the thing that scares most entrepreneurs or the one that like really can send people.
Speaker A:Like again, not that it's scary, but it's like, it just is that internal resistance.
Speaker A:Because we don't really thrive in structure.
Speaker A:Some people thrive in structure.
Speaker A:Like my husband is that person that thrives in structure.
Speaker A:He gets up, he has the same routine every morning.
Speaker A:He could eat the same thing for lunch every single day.
Speaker A:He did.
Speaker A:You know, that's just not me, right?
Speaker A:It's not me.
Speaker A:And so where is the balance here of like, I need a little bit of structure, but I need the creative freedom to be able to do the things I want to do.
Speaker A:And I also need to be able to work with my energy how I'm feeling that day.
Speaker A:Because here's the thing, like even recording these podcasts, I had it in my schedule for like on Mondays I mark off as a CEO day and I mark it off on the third Monday.
Speaker A:Like that's podcast recording day and whatever it came up on my calendar.
Speaker A:And I just, I had other things that I was in the middle of that I had to get done.
Speaker A:I didn't feel like getting dressed and Ready that morning.
Speaker A:Not that I actually really use the video side of these, but it was just one of those things where it's like, I'm just not in it.
Speaker A:Like, I can't.
Speaker A:I can't get into it.
Speaker A:And so I could have forced myself into this structure of like, no, on the third Monday, you said you were going to do this and.
Speaker A:Or I could say, like, no, but I'm going to make sure I get it done another day.
Speaker A:But here's the thing.
Speaker A:There's like this constant give and take because there was a side of me that was like, nope, you have the freedom.
Speaker A:You can do that again tomorrow.
Speaker A:Like, go record the episodes.
Speaker A:But then the next day or whatever, if I don't get it done, then it becomes urgent, right?
Speaker A:Then it's like, but you didn't get it done and now you have to get it done because the episodes have to go out or whatever, right?
Speaker A:And that brings me to my next key point is that unstructured businesses burn more energy, time and money because everything then becomes urgent, right?
Speaker A:Every single dm, every new task, like, it all competes for your attention because now everything is urgent because there is no structure.
Speaker A:There is no, like, routine.
Speaker A:There is.
Speaker A:And so now all of a sudden, these things are building up and building up and building up, and then you come up against deadlines, you come up against, like, there's just a lot that comes up.
Speaker A:And if you don't have it done, you have to really focus to get it done.
Speaker A:And that can be very difficult, right?
Speaker A:And so then you're starting to, like, do things quickly.
Speaker A:That's where mistakes get made.
Speaker A:That's where balls get dropped.
Speaker A:Like, if you're trying to create something new or do different automations or anything, that requires a little bit more of your actual, like, focused thinking time.
Speaker A:But when you're stressed or you're doing it out of, like, from this place of, like, I have to get this done now, because if I don't, it's not going to get done.
Speaker A:And I'm going to miss out on all these different things, all these different opportunities, right?
Speaker A:Like, you end up burning all of this time and energy and it opens up and leaves room for mistakes, right?
Speaker A:And so structure, in a sense, it protects your energy, right?
Speaker A:It reduces the number of decisions you have to make every day, right?
Speaker A:Because let's be honest, we all have a little bit of decision fatigue.
Speaker A:But when you have structure and, you know, like, okay, on Mondays I'm going to record podcasts, it's not like, am I going to record podcasts?
Speaker A:Am I going to create content?
Speaker A:Am I going to record videos?
Speaker A:Am I going to do this or that or any of this stuff?
Speaker A:Like, it's all just like, nope, this is what I have to do today, right?
Speaker A:And so I've talked about this before about like giving your.
Speaker A:Your days and your of your week's themes.
Speaker A:Like I call it, like creating a little bit of structure within your days.
Speaker A:And I think the thing about it is, is that you have to find some flexibility and fluidity in the structure, right?
Speaker A:And so for me, like, Mondays are a CEO day, meaning no calls.
Speaker A:That looks different every single Monday.
Speaker A:Every Monday does not look the same.
Speaker A:And then on Tuesday it's like it's open for networking or connection calls.
Speaker A:Again, it doesn't look the same.
Speaker A:Some Tuesdays I don't have a lot of calls and I can actually get some CEO work done.
Speaker A:Other Tuesdays I'm book solid with calls.
Speaker A:Other Tuesdays I have FVA related calls, right?
Speaker A:So it's just one of those things where it's like you can create structure, but give yourself a little bit of fluidity and a little bit of breathing room, and then you're not going to resist it so much.
Speaker A:But when we start, we resist.
Speaker A:It is when we feel like we are like forcing ourselves into this box that we just do not want to be in.
Speaker A:And the more we feel forced to be in there, the more resistance comes up.
Speaker A:And so you've got to kind of look at that.
Speaker A:It's like if you know your business is needing structure and you know you need a little bit more focus and a little bit more routine, where are there are opportunities that you can put this structure in place without feeling like you're stuffing yourself into a box.
Speaker A:Okay, but here's the other thing we also fear a lot of times, like, if we create this structure, I'm going to lose all of my creativity.
Speaker A:But it's actually a lot of times the opposite.
Speaker A:I find this to be so true that when you have a plan or you know what the plan is, right?
Speaker A:Like, if you look at your calendar and you know the next day, like, okay, tomorrow's my CEO day.
Speaker A:And you know that going into it, right?
Speaker A:That frees up your brain to think about, what am I going to do tomorrow?
Speaker A:It's like, okay, I've got all day.
Speaker A:I can do whatever.
Speaker A:I can think creatively.
Speaker A:I could spend the morning doing a little bit of focused thinking time.
Speaker A:I can spend the afternoon doing some recording.
Speaker A:You can really look at your schedule and see like, where do you do better?
Speaker A:What do you spend your time?
Speaker A:Like, you know, when you're.
Speaker A:You're most productive?
Speaker A:Like, for me, it's the afternoons.
Speaker A:I'm far more productive in the afternoons, which is polar opposite from a lot of people.
Speaker A:But for me, the afternoons are like, when I get my groove after lunch, then I'm really ready to go.
Speaker A:Like, it's just when my brain starts operating at its fullest potential.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And so you're not constantly spinning with the what if, what if, what if I do this, what if I do that, what should I do here?
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:Like, there's so.
Speaker A:It does open up all this opportunity for creative freedom because you're not stuck in the what ifs.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:And so there's relief that comes with that.
Speaker A:There's relief with, like, okay, I don't need to worry about recording that next podcast episode because I know I can catch up and do that on Monday.
Speaker A:I have Monday set aside for that.
Speaker A:Or, you know, when somebody comes to you and wants to, you know, you know, you got to create a new opt in or a lead magnet or you're working on a new automation or something like that.
Speaker A:Automation is like, on my brain because I've been so heavily focused on it with.
Speaker A:Between that quiz and some Facebook ads and all the things, it's just like all this automation.
Speaker A:So that's why I keep bringing it up, because that requires a lot of focus, time and energy.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So I think the thing that you need to remember is that having structure is not.
Speaker A:It's not like a prison box, right?
Speaker A:It's not, it's not a container.
Speaker A:It's not meant to stifle you.
Speaker A:It's not meant to, like, kill your creativity.
Speaker A:The whole point of having structure and focus and like a little bit of a, a plan around your business is truly that to give you the plan to give you that flexibility of, you know, saying, like, I know that I can do this, but I don't have to do it in any certain way, or I don't have to do it at any specific time, but I know I have to get it done this week.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, that's what I mean by structure and flow, like fluidity and giving yourself a little bit of flexibility.
Speaker A:But flexibility, I mean, the problem is, is the second we give ourselves flexibility, we usually take it to like an extreme.
Speaker A:It's like, well, I'll just do whatever I want, whenever I want and however I want.
Speaker A:Well, you can't run a successful business on a, like, I'll do it whenever the frig I feel like it, right?
Speaker A:Like you just can't like go talk to any other successful business owner.
Speaker A:And I'm telling you right now, they do not willy nilly their way through it, right?
Speaker A:There is certain level of structure that they all have in place.
Speaker A:And so you can continue to resist it, but it going to slow down your progress.
Speaker A:Like that's just the reality of it.
Speaker A:The more you resist structure, the more it's going to slow down your progress.
Speaker A:And now if you're on my Sunday morning brew list, you got an email a couple weeks ago that I really told you that this is not my forte, right?
Speaker A:Seeing things through to completion, that tenacity in the working genius, like that is not my area of, of expertise.
Speaker A:But I told you, my husband, that is his area of expertise.
Speaker A:It's his genius.
Speaker A:Like he thrives in structure, he thrives in routine, he thrives in accountability.
Speaker A:So I've been using him, right?
Speaker A:Like I put that in place and saying like, hey, I'm gonna, on Mondays this is what we're gonna do.
Speaker A:So here's like a really good example of structure with flexibility, right?
Speaker A:So on Mondays we meet and I'm like, here's everything I've got on my plate for the week.
Speaker A:Here's all the projects I have to get done.
Speaker A:Here's all the responsibilities I have.
Speaker A:Here are the things that people are waiting on, you know, these are the things I have to get done and that's it.
Speaker A:I don't tell them what day I'm gonna get it done, I don't tell them what time I'm gonna get it done.
Speaker A:I just say, I need you to check in with me by Friday and make sure I got all of these said things done, right?
Speaker A:And so knowing that I have that accountability, it puts up a, like, that little bit of like, account, obviously the accountability, but like there's that like, I'm not gonna not get this done.
Speaker A:But also it gives me the flexibility to be like, well, I don't feel like doing that today, but I'm going to get it done tomorrow, right?
Speaker A:And so as long as you have a list and an action plan of the things that you know you have to get done, you can create a little bit of flexibility within that, right?
Speaker A:That's the real true definition of flexibility with structure is like knowing that you have certain things you have to get done, you have the structure around the actions that you need to take, but you give yourself the flexibility to take those actions depending on different days, circumstances, etc.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so, I mean, this is why for me, especially inside of the Focus Visionary, why I really only focus on 60 day containers and 60 day planning periods.
Speaker A:And I've talked about this before.
Speaker A:I talked about it in the last episode.
Speaker A:If you listen to episode 302 around, which was the deep dive behind the scenes into the Focus Visionary, I talked a lot about this of, like, why the 60 days?
Speaker A:Because it's enough to create results, but it's also not so long that you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm stuck in this box and I cannot wait to get out of it, and I freaking hate this, and I just don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, it gives you that ability to kind of adjust and at the end of 60 days, you can try something new.
Speaker A:There's a lot of flexibility within that 60 days because we're really just working on like, what's the overall intention here?
Speaker A:What is the goal and what are we promoting?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like that's the structures.
Speaker A:Like, the overall intention is for me to create new visibility.
Speaker A:What is the goal?
Speaker A:To promote said lead magnet and increase my email subscribers or to get booked on three podcasts and then, well, from that, what offer are you promoting?
Speaker A:I'm promoting the Focus visay.
Speaker A:Right, like, so there's a little bit of structure, but how all of that happens is flexible to you.
Speaker A:What's going on in life, what's going on in your business, what new opportunities are coming, right?
Speaker A:So you're.
Speaker A:You have that structure and that focus and that direction, but the flexibility comes in the how, right?
Speaker A:And I think that is what is so important here.
Speaker A:Especially if you're one of these people like me, who used to be that person, is like, I just do not thrive in structure.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:There's.
Speaker A:There's two sides to that.
Speaker A:You cannot thrive in structure and be all over the place.
Speaker A:Or you can say, I do actually like structure, but I need it to be a little bit flexible.
Speaker A:And that's the difference.
Speaker A:And that's really where that sweet spot is.
Speaker A:And so I want you to look at your business and really ask yourself, like, where do I really need structure and where can I create that structure while giving myself a little bit of flexibility?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So is it that you try one of the things I mentioned where it's like, on Mondays you list out all the things you need to do and as long as you get them done by Friday, that's good enough, right?
Speaker A:Like that's the structure you need, is it that you commit to One thing in a 60 day period, like one intention, one goal, one focused offer, right?
Speaker A:Like that's it.
Speaker A:But how you do all of that, that's up to you.
Speaker A:Every day that could look different.
Speaker A:Some days it could look like going lives.
Speaker A:Other day it could look like sending emails.
Speaker A:Another day it could look like shooting people DMS and doing some follow up and nurture, right?
Speaker A:Like there's all of these different things that you can do to achieve what you're trying to achieve.
Speaker A:But there's no set structure of like every single day I'm gonna send three DMs.
Speaker A:How many times have we done that?
Speaker A:Like, I'm gonna send five dms every single day, Monday through Thursday, for a total of, you know, what is it?
Speaker A:5?
Speaker A:What did I say?
Speaker A:I can only remember what I said.
Speaker A:Five, three, whatever.
Speaker A:20 DMs a week.
Speaker A:I can't tell you the amount of people that have tried that.
Speaker A:And after two weeks they're like, I don't want to do this.
Speaker A:It's too much.
Speaker A:I got too many conversations.
Speaker A:This happened.
Speaker A:I didn't have time, I needed this client, right?
Speaker A:Like that's what I'm saying.
Speaker A:The structure, the resistance is when there's so much structure around that.
Speaker A:What if you just said like, I'm going to send 20 DMs a month, okay?
Speaker A:That structure, I'm going to get 20 DMs done a month.
Speaker A:I might do 20 in one day.
Speaker A:You may get bland.
Speaker A:I don't remember what the limit is anymore on that.
Speaker A:You may do 20 or five one week, five the next week, you know, five per week.
Speaker A:You might be able to get 10 in one day because you don't have a ton of calls and you've got the time and the opportunity and the freedom to do that and you've got the space and you're in a flow and you can get it done, right?
Speaker A:Like that's what I'm saying is give yourself the structure, but give yourself the flexibility, the flexibility within that so that you don't resist it, so that it doesn't feel like you're stuck in a cage, okay?
Speaker A:That's how you're going to, that's why you're craving that.
Speaker A:Most of us crave a little bit of structure.
Speaker A:So these are ways that you can implement it, help to see some growth in your business.
Speaker A:You're going to see results from it.
Speaker A:Because there is no denying that, that results come from structured focus.
Speaker A:Like there, you can't argue that, right?
Speaker A:You cannot, you cannot argue that.
Speaker A:Like People that have a little bit more structure and focus get better results than people that are chaos and kind of are in this willy nilly.
Speaker A:Like, let me go with the flow, right?
Speaker A:Like if you did a side by side comparison, the person that's like going with the flow is going to get results.
Speaker A:But there's likely that the person that created a little bit more structure is getting better results.
Speaker A:It's just fact, right?
Speaker A:So think about that.
Speaker A:Is like, where is this going with the flow actually backfiring, right?
Speaker A:Where is it actually hindering you and not helping you?
Speaker A:And what structure can you put in place while still giving yourself the flexibility?
Speaker A:And then what system do you need to put around that to actually maintain it?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Do you need to like give yourself those themed days where it's like every Monday I only is my CEO day, right?
Speaker A:Like what systems do you need to put in place to help you?
Speaker A:And then where can you commit?
Speaker A:Like, how can you commit to this?
Speaker A:To try it and see, right?
Speaker A:Because that's the thing is you got to try it, you got to see what works, you got to see what doesn't work.
Speaker A:And then you, you, you tweak it based on what you learned, right?
Speaker A:Like that's what I teach.
Speaker A:That's the epitome of everything I do is like, try it, see what works, what doesn't work and then adjust from there.
Speaker A:So anyway, that's kind of all I want to say about that.
Speaker A:Like I'm just going to end it with that, is that, you know, I, I get it, I get it.
Speaker A:I get this resistance to structure.
Speaker A:I really do.
Speaker A:I've been there, I've done it.
Speaker A:But I'm telling you, you're going to see better results if you give yourself a little bit of structure.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker A:I believe in you.
Speaker A:I know you can do it.
Speaker A:I know you can do it.
Speaker A:And if you have any questions or you need help, please do not hesitate to reach out to me.
Speaker A:My contact information is in the show notes.
Speaker A:If you haven't taken the where's your gap in your business strategy quiz, that's a great place to see where maybe there's a little bit of structure that is lacking.
Speaker A:It will identify the gaps, you be able to go through it and you'll see a lot of the feedback that I've been getting is like it's super eye openening or wow, I didn't realize how much I needed that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:That's why I created it.
Speaker A:Is not.
Speaker A:It's just to help you see where there's some gaps and where you need to put a little bit more structure around your business.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:So have fun.
Speaker A:Go take action.
Speaker A:I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker A:Thanks so much for listening today, but remember now it's time to take action.
Speaker A:My goal is to get you results.
Speaker A:So what is one action you can commit to taking this week?
Speaker A:Feel free to share it with me in my DMs or tag me on your socials.
Speaker A:Not sure what action to take?
Speaker A:Grab the link in the show notes and schedule a strategic power hour.
Speaker A:We can talk through it together and get you a strategic plan of action in just 60 short minutes.
Speaker A:Oh and one last favorite.
Speaker A:As with every podcast, reviews and ratings are what help us continue to show up and grow.
Speaker A:So if you wouldn't mind, please take a quick minute to leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify and share this episode with a friend.
Speaker A:Thanks.
Speaker A:Talk soon.
