Episode 295
How to show up unapologetically and attract your ideal clients [Ep. 295]
Join the Focused Visionary Accelerator today (FVA)! FVA is your go to program if you are a business owner ready to scale to the next level. You will receive expert guidance, personalized coaching, a supportive community and live masterclasses!
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If you’ve ever held back from sharing your thoughts or expertise because you were worried about what others might think, this episode is your wake-up call.
We chat about how some folks with less skill are snagging clients simply because they’re out there making noise, while we might be overthinking our every move.
It’s time to ditch that fear of judgment and start embracing our inner CEO because guess what? Your uniqueness is what will attract the right clients!
So let’s get loud, get visible, and, most importantly, get ready to own our brilliance without holding back.
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Related Episodes & Mentions
Ep. 204: Embracing Your Unique Path and Defying the “Should” Mentality
Julie Costa Activate Membership
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Transcript
Hello, my friends.
Speaker A:Okay, this one is gonna be a little bit.
Speaker A:I don't want to say spicy, but we're gonna.
Speaker A:We're gonna show up.
Speaker A:We're gonna show up unapologetically.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:And I want you to think about how many times you have held back from posting, speaking up, or sharing your expertise because of one person, two people, or all the universe.
Speaker A:I don't know, you thought might judge you.
Speaker A:And if you're worried about being too much or saying the wrong thing, maybe you've been told that as a kid, like, oh, you're just too much or you talk too much or you say too much or whatever.
Speaker A:You're afraid, like, your opinion might be go.
Speaker A:Might go against the grain a little bit, and so you don't say it, then this episode is for you.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:So we're going to dive right into this one.
Speaker A:Are you ready?
Speaker A:Are you ready?
Speaker A:Okay, let's do it.
Speaker A:And here's what I want to start with.
Speaker A:And I want to say this to you that I can promise you, promise you that someone with not as much skill as you is getting clients because they are showing up.
Speaker A:They are showing up unapologetically.
Speaker A:They are getting noticed.
Speaker A:They are not overthinking their every move, and they are getting the business.
Speaker A:And I know this because I've been there.
Speaker A:I've been there.
Speaker A:I know how defeating it feels.
Speaker A:I know how defeating it can be when some you find out or you see or you read or you hear that one of your prospects signed up with somebody else because, oh, well, she said this, this, and this, right?
Speaker A:And it caught my eye or brought.
Speaker A:Drove my attention in or whatever, right?
Speaker A:Like, it happens.
Speaker A:It really does.
Speaker A:It happens all the time.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:And so you need to get visible, you need to get loud, and you need to make yourself and your knowledge and your skills know.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:At the beginning of the year, this year, I did a hypno breathwork session with Julie Costa, which, by the way, if you are not in that membership, I highly recommend it.
Speaker A:I'm going to make sure that I put the link in the show notes.
Speaker A:It is an affiliate link.
Speaker A:All of my links are on my website.
Speaker A:And you get a 20% off.
Speaker A:I think there's a 20% off coupon on there.
Speaker A:Anyway, I'm going to link it for you guys.
Speaker A:But one of her hypno breath works was on your era.
Speaker A:Like, what era are you stepping into for the year?
Speaker A:And through it, whatever.
Speaker A:All that kept coming up for me is, like, unapologetic.
Speaker A:And I'll be honest with you.
Speaker A:Like, I haven't really been that unapologetic because I've just been overwhelmed and I've been overthinking and I have not been showing up.
Speaker A:And I was literally having this conversation with my husband today before recording this about how I have some really strong feelings and I feel like I don't show up and I don't say them and I don't speak them.
Speaker A:I might on here, right?
Speaker A:But I don't always in my content because I'm afraid, like, it goes against what other people are saying or, you know, like in conversation.
Speaker A:If anybody has a conversation with me, I am not afraid to say it.
Speaker A:But like creating content around it.
Speaker A:Sometimes I feel like, do I really want to do this?
Speaker A:Like, am I really willing to, like, open up this can of worms or.
Speaker A:But here's the thing.
Speaker A:Like, if we don't stand up for and share what we believe in, then other we're going to get looked past.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:And I want you to think about that.
Speaker A:Like, how many times do you second guess or water down your content or what you are going to say out of fear of judgment, right?
Speaker A:Do you worry that you're going to get unsubscribes and unfollows or people are going to disagree with you?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:But I get it.
Speaker A:Like, I really do.
Speaker A:Like, nobody wants to start like an Internet argument because we've got a varying opinion.
Speaker A:However, the thing about it is, is that when we do that, then we don't get the opportunities, we don't get the clients and we don't get the growth that we're looking for because we're not making enough noise.
Speaker A:And I want to really encourage you to show up unapologetic in whatever way that looks like for you.
Speaker A:Like, we all have very strong opinions about the skill that we bring to the table, right?
Speaker A:The way that we see things there, every single industry has somebody that we don't agree with.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:There's trends out there.
Speaker A:There's big marketing that gets a lot of attention.
Speaker A:And we know it's all just horseshit content, right?
Speaker A:Like, we know there's nothing that stands behind it.
Speaker A:We know that people aren't going to get the results that are promising.
Speaker A:We know that, you know, they're not going to get to work with the coach, especially if it's a big name.
Speaker A:You're going to get some associate coach or somebody, you know, you're never going to get access to the actual coach or whatever.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, we've all been there okay.
Speaker A:But it's also really hard to show up on the other side of that.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, it's sometimes hard.
Speaker A:And the thing about it is, is like I found myself doing this for a couple years where I was constantly like, oh, did you see this?
Speaker A:Well, here's why this is wrong, right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, and the thing about it is, is you don't necessarily want to create content that's like, this is why I'm better, or this is why this is.
Speaker A:Even though that's what you really want to say, but really just hold your own opinion, don't compare it to what everybody else is saying.
Speaker A:Just show up and state your opinion without contradicting somebody else's.
Speaker A:Like not pointing it out.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, you know, it's already probably going to contradict somebody else's opinion to be begin with.
Speaker A:But you don't need to point it out and be like, hey, if you read this, here's why this is not right, right?
Speaker A:Like you can just show up and state what you want to say.
Speaker A:And the thing about it is, is like playing it safe doesn't necessarily get you the right fit clients.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, we've been there, we've done that, we know this, but yet we continue to do it.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:And one of the things that I feel very strongly about, and I will show up unapologetically here, is that, you know, I see so many, like, I want to change a lot of my messaging around.
Speaker A:I mean, there's a million things that I could teach on, right?
Speaker A:Like I can teach on so many different topics.
Speaker A:But the thing that I am most passionate about and the one thing I never talk about until right now or unless you've had a conversation with me, is helping business owners to own and step into their inner CEO.
Speaker A:I've done one episode on this one in 290something episodes.
Speaker A:I've talked about this one time.
Speaker A:But here's the thing and the reason I don't is because people tell me, oh, when you use the word CEO, it sounds so corporate or I hate that word, or I don't want to be related to corporate America.
Speaker A:But the reality is, is that CEO to me is such a powerful, powerful position and it is a position that makes educated decisions, right?
Speaker A:There is a reason CEO is the top ranking C level executive.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:There's a reason for that.
Speaker A:Why do you not want to be that, that top level exec in your company, right?
Speaker A:Like you want to be the person that gets to make all the decisions.
Speaker A:You want to be the person that understands exactly what's going on in your business.
Speaker A:And here's the thing.
Speaker A:Most people, this, again, this, this is a little bit of a rant on this episode because this is me showing up unapologetically.
Speaker A:90% of the business owners that I work with are highly, highly skilled professionals.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:They have never, ever been business owners.
Speaker A:They have a, a skill that they have monetized and turned in to a business, but they have never been a business owner.
Speaker A:And that is why the title of CEO intimidates or scares or doesn't relate.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Because that is not they've ever equated it to.
Speaker A:But stepping into and owning the CEO is what is going to grow and scale people's business, right?
Speaker A:I'm telling you, you have to be able to step into and own that role.
Speaker A:If you want to grow and scale your business.
Speaker A:Your skill is only going to get you so far.
Speaker A:Okay, so there you are.
Speaker A:There's me showing up unapologetically because.
Speaker A:And that may not resonate with all of you.
Speaker A:And that's okay, right?
Speaker A:Like, it may or may not resonate, but that's the thing is that we have to get to a point where this may not resonate.
Speaker A:And if it doesn't, then that's probably there might not be their.
Speaker A:Your right fit client or it just means that they haven't heard it enough.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Just because it doesn't resonate the first time doesn't mean people aren't going to continue to follow you.
Speaker A:They're not going to continue to listen, they're not going to continue to read your content, be on your list, go to your workshops, whatever, and start to see a different side and start to understand what you do.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But you have to at least do something to start attracting people, to get them to think.
Speaker A:Hmm.
Speaker A:I mean, I'm never really related to the word CEO, but man, the way she's bringing it up, like, yeah, yeah, I want to sit and be the CEO of my business.
Speaker A:Of course I do.
Speaker A:Of course I want to be the decision maker.
Speaker A:Of course I want to make those educated decisions.
Speaker A:Of course I want to know exactly what's going on in my business.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:Like, that's the thing.
Speaker A:You have to be willing to state what you are saying so that people can hear you, so that people can lean in, so that people can start to say, like, I resonate with what you're saying.
Speaker A:And it's okay if it goes against what everybody else is saying, because that's the reality of it.
Speaker A:Like, it's all just, we get to be our own people.
Speaker A:That's the beautiful thing about being an entrepreneur.
Speaker A:But yet we step into entrepreneurship and then we like forget how to use our own freaking voice.
Speaker A:Like, that is what kept coming up for me in that hypno breath work is that like when I worked in corporate America, which I never really worked for like a huge corporation, I never worked for like a forbes, you know, Fortune 500 company or anything.
Speaker A:It was still small business, what I would consider small business, but, you know, you had to work your way up the ladder.
Speaker A:But the thing is, it's like I was never afraid to say what I was thinking in my, in my company, right?
Speaker A:Like, and I went against the grain a lot.
Speaker A:I went up against HR all the freaking time.
Speaker A:Because I never agreed with anything she had to say.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:And I didn't feel bad about it.
Speaker A:Like, I just didn't.
Speaker A:Like, I went up against sales, I went up against my boss.
Speaker A:Like, if I didn't think what they were doing was going to actually net the company a result, I had no problem saying it.
Speaker A:But yet here I am as an entrepreneur and all of a sudden I like forget how to use my voice.
Speaker A:And that's the thing.
Speaker A:Why does this happen to us?
Speaker A:Because the problem is, is in the online space there's so many freaking opinions and people with opposing opinions.
Speaker A:I, I always crack up at this.
Speaker A:One of the things that, why I shy away from this is because I could post on social media, Facebook, LinkedIn all the time, right?
Speaker A:And I don't get comments here there.
Speaker A:You get the same comments from the people that do resonate, right?
Speaker A:And then you put something out there that's really super opposing and then everybody jumps out of the freaking woodwork.
Speaker A:Like people that you didn't even know were following you.
Speaker A:People who haven't commented on your stuff in like freaking three years, all of a sudden they've got an opinion about it, right?
Speaker A:And then it's like, I don't really feel like dealing with it.
Speaker A:Like, that's why I don't show up.
Speaker A:Because it's like, not because I'm afraid to defend my position, because I don't need to defend my position.
Speaker A:I'm not here to, but I just don't want to see the argument.
Speaker A:Like, why do you, like, you haven't commented on anything I've done in three years.
Speaker A:All of a sudden now you've got such a strong opinion that you have no problem commenting on what I've got to say?
Speaker A:Like, I just don't understand people.
Speaker A:And so, like, I Get sick of it.
Speaker A:And that's what keeps me from doing it.
Speaker A:But I'm here to tell you, like, find the space where you can do this and really lean in.
Speaker A:Really, truly lean in and start showing up.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Because the thing about it is, is playing it safe doesn't attract the right clients.
Speaker A:And the loudest voices in the industry are not necessarily the smartest.
Speaker A:They're not the best, they're not the most skilled.
Speaker A:They're not.
Speaker A:They aren't.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:But they are the ones who are willing to be seen and heard.
Speaker A:And unfortunately, a lot of times they get the business.
Speaker A:And then guess what?
Speaker A:We all know this is what happens, is that they are the ones that are seen and heard.
Speaker A:They are the ones that close the deals.
Speaker A:And then the person gets screwed.
Speaker A:They don't get the results.
Speaker A:And then that person has a tainted view of, like, reinvesting in their business.
Speaker A:All because we were not confident or in showing up unapologetically.
Speaker A:Had we just shown up, knowing that we stand behind what we do, knowing that we have integrity, knowing that we bring the value to the table, that could have all been avoided.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, that is the reality of it.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:So I want you to stop worrying about what that one person might not like, what you have to say.
Speaker A:And here's the thing.
Speaker A:Guess what?
Speaker A:You can delete their shit if you don't like what they've got to say and you don't want to defend your position, and you don't really want people to get into an argument in your comments.
Speaker A:Although it helps with engagement, although it's still annoying.
Speaker A:Delete it.
Speaker A:Delete it.
Speaker A:Block them, unfriend them, unfollow them.
Speaker A:Don't let them comment.
Speaker A:Like, I do this all the time.
Speaker A:Like, sometimes I do throw out a super opposing opinion just to draw out the people from the woodwork so I can get them off my list.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And that's the thing.
Speaker A:But you've got to get to a point where it's like, I don't really care what you might not like or what I do, you know, for every single person that disagrees with you, there are dozens and dozens, if not thousands of people that need to hear what you have to say.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:They need to hear you.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:And then I want you to remember, you are speaking to your ideal clients.
Speaker A:You are not speaking to your critics.
Speaker A:Hear that again.
Speaker A:You are speaking to your ideal clients, not your critics.
Speaker A:And when you water down your message and you do not show up in your unapologetic self, you end up speaking to your critics, you end up speaking to those people or you end up speaking to the wrong fit client because you're too worried about standing in and owning your genius and owning the hill that you want to stand on.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:Because we're afraid, will somebody else not like this or.
Speaker A:I don't know if I should do this.
Speaker A:And I'm like, literally having a pep talk with myself right now as I'm recording this, because like I told you in the beginning of the year, I did that, and I was going to show up unapologetically.
Speaker A:And guess what?
Speaker A:I haven't.
Speaker A:I haven't.
Speaker A:I just haven't done it.
Speaker A:And I need to.
Speaker A:I need to.
Speaker A:I show up unapologetically in networking.
Speaker A:If I'm having a conversation, I am not afraid to say, like, I feel very strongly, and I unapologetically will say that the Focus Visionary framework is the missing piece to 90% of people's growth and scaling problems.
Speaker A:Because it is the foundations that everybody moved past because they followed these other people that are blowing smoke up their ass that never helped them to actually create a business foundational plan that was meant to be growing.
Speaker A:Like, that was able to be grown and actually met and built to be scaled.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:I have no problem unapologetically saying that, but sometimes I get, like, annoyed.
Speaker A:I just don't say it in my content.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So I want you to remember that you are not here to water down your message.
Speaker A:Because when you water it down, that's what falls on deaf ears, too, right?
Speaker A:Because when we water down our message, it sounds the same as everybody else.
Speaker A:It sounds the same.
Speaker A:And people are like, that's what's.
Speaker A:And that's what.
Speaker A:The doom scroll.
Speaker A:People are sick of the doom scroll, right?
Speaker A:They're sick of seeing it, they're sick of hearing it.
Speaker A:They're sick of.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:And now with Chat GPT, everybody's content sounds the same.
Speaker A:Because that's all it is.
Speaker A:It's regurgitated content, which is fine and it's helpful.
Speaker A:But we.
Speaker A:We get it right?
Speaker A:It is.
Speaker A:So you've got to stop with that.
Speaker A:You've got to stop watering it down.
Speaker A:And I want you to be bold, okay?
Speaker A:Because here's the thing.
Speaker A:If people don't know what you really stand for, they're not going to trust you enough to know when to buy from you.
Speaker A:That bold statement, those bold thoughts, those bold feelings, those are the things that build trust.
Speaker A:Those are the things that get people to say, you know what?
Speaker A:She's the one.
Speaker A:She's the one I want to invest in because she's not afraid to tell it like it is.
Speaker A:I can't tell you.
Speaker A:Like, I hear that all the time.
Speaker A:Like, Michelle, I know that you're just going to give it to me straight.
Speaker A:I do when I'm working with you.
Speaker A:But you often wouldn't see that in my content.
Speaker A:You really want it.
Speaker A:But that's about to change.
Speaker A:It really is.
Speaker A:It's going to change.
Speaker A:Because I am sick of seeing.
Speaker A:I'm sick of reading the same thing.
Speaker A:I'm sick of hearing the same thing.
Speaker A:I'm sick of people talking about the same thing.
Speaker A:You know, we all do it.
Speaker A:But, like, you can have a hill that you stand on, right?
Speaker A:So, yeah, I still want to talk about sales.
Speaker A:I still want to talk about lead generation.
Speaker A:I still want to talk about strategic planning.
Speaker A:And I do have very different opinions about sales too.
Speaker A:Like, you can have the best offer in the world and you can have the best, but if you don't keep the ball in your court and you actually do the work to follow up to get the sale, and you're sitting around passively waiting, AKA that's marketing, not sales, then you're not gonna get the business.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So I'm gonna start boldly saying that, like, your sales are down because you're not doing the work to go get em, Right?
Speaker A:Like, that's gonna piss people off.
Speaker A:And I know that, and that's okay.
Speaker A:Because at the end of the day, the right person is gonna say, you know what, Michelle?
Speaker A:Like that.
Speaker A:Yeah, that wasn't really what I wanted to hear.
Speaker A:But you're right.
Speaker A:I'm not going after my sales.
Speaker A:I know I have leads.
Speaker A:I know I need to follow up with them.
Speaker A:I know that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do, so.
Speaker A:And then there's going to be people that don't want to hear it because they like staying stuck.
Speaker A:That's okay.
Speaker A:I don't want to work with people that like staying stuck.
Speaker A:I want to work with the people that are like, you know what, Michelle?
Speaker A:You're right.
Speaker A:You're right.
Speaker A:I do need to do something about it.
Speaker A:I don't know what to do about it.
Speaker A:That's why I need you.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like that.
Speaker A:Do you see the difference?
Speaker A:When we sugarcoat things and we water them down, we end up attracting the people that like to stay stuck.
Speaker A:There are people that like to stay stuck.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:There just are.
Speaker A:There are some people that no matter what you do, they're.
Speaker A:They're chronic investors and they continue to invest into their business, but they don't do the work and then they don't get the results.
Speaker A:You cannot change that.
Speaker A:Right, but those are not the people that we want to attract.
Speaker A:Yeah, they're a paying client, but they're not a dream client.
Speaker A:They're not an ideal client.
Speaker A:This is the difference, right?
Speaker A:You see, when you start watering it down and you start coming up with these, like, generic promises, you're going to get people that buy into that.
Speaker A:And that's not what you want.
Speaker A:That is not what you want.
Speaker A:So this is your call to action.
Speaker A:I want you to go and show up unapologetically.
Speaker A:And I'm going to do this myself, too.
Speaker A:I want you to go and put something out there that is a bold, a bold statement.
Speaker A:I know you all have feelings.
Speaker A:I know there are all.
Speaker A:There is something inside of you that you're like, that's bullshit.
Speaker A:I don't agree with that.
Speaker A:That is not how people get results.
Speaker A:And I want you to go and I want you to call it out.
Speaker A:You don't have to say you're calling it out.
Speaker A:I just want you to stand unapologetically and show up.
Speaker A:And if you need to show up on video, show up on video.
Speaker A:If you want to show up in a long form content, show up in long form content.
Speaker A:You want to show up in short form content, show up in short form content.
Speaker A:But whatever it is, I want you to show up unapologetically and own your statement.
Speaker A:And then I want you to tag me.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:I'm on all the platforms, so just tag me at Michelle Denial.
Speaker A:You can pretty much tag me on all of them with my name.
Speaker A:Go tag me.
Speaker A:And I'm going to comment and I'm going to share it.
Speaker A:I'm going to share it because I want to share and celebrate and I want to start celebrating and getting people to stand up and show up unapologetically.
Speaker A:All right, so that's your.
Speaker A:That's what you're going to do.
Speaker A:You're going to go take action.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker A:I believe you.
Speaker A:I'm cheering you on and I'm right here with you.
Speaker A:Okay, I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker A:Thanks so much for listening today, but remember, now it's time to take action.
Speaker A:My goal is to get you results.
Speaker A:So what is one action, action you can commit to taking this week?
Speaker A:Feel free to share it with me in my DMs or tag me on your socials.
Speaker A:Not sure what action to take.
Speaker A:Grab the link in the show notes and schedule a strategic power hour.
Speaker A:We can talk through it together and get you a strategic plan of action in just 60 short minutes.
Speaker A:Oh, and one last favor.
Speaker A:As with every podcast, reviews and ratings are what help us continue to show up and grow.
Speaker A:So if you wouldn't mind, please take a quick minute to leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify and share this episode with a friend.
Speaker A:Thanks.
Speaker A:Talk soon.
